Memorial Day: A Father and a Pundit Provide Perspective
Last December this Blog encouraged its readers to "spend time with the troops, and their families" by recommending Blogs, and Blog Posts, and I even wrote a Poem I called A Visit to Baghdad.
What happened next surprised, and touched me.
A week later I received an e-mail from the father of a soldier who wrote to thank me for what I had done, and to make me an offer.
I accepted the offer and, a month later, this post was the result.
Mike Stokely is just 1 of many heroes of the Liberation of Iraq who gave his life in this worthy cause, and Robert Stokely is just one family member coming to terms with his sacrifice.
And then there are the wounded, and those who served their time in the service, and mustered out.
And of course there are those on the front lines this weekend, some serving their 2nd, or 3rd tours.
Was it all worth it?
Is it STILL worth it?
For starters consider this: Would there have ever been Bloggers in Iraq, much less ones writing pieces such as this one, if Saddam was still in power?
Iran is now dealing with the reality of Bloggers in ITS midst as well. ;-D
As for the 2 questions posed above: Robert Stokely, and the Author/Pundit Victor Davis Hanson, provide the answers.
I, among many others, received the following e-mail on April 26th:
I just wanted to take this moment to write you all and post you up on how it is going. Last week was Mike's birthday and I appreciate your calls, cards and support. I did pretty well on his birthday as did the entire family. Many people remembered Mike's birthday and stopped me in passing at work to speak of his birthday and to wish me and our family well. Some were surprised I was at work - not in a bad way, but maybe expecting that the day would be too difficult to do anything but just survive that "first birthday" since his death. You know, I explained that Mike Stokely would be saying "what's the big deal - get over it" and he would expect me to do my job - as he did his job. After all, he suffered harsh environmental conditions in a hostile fire zone, danger abounding all around and he did his jo. Surely, he would have a right to expect me to do mine in the safety of America that he so proudly and willing fought to preserve.
On Mike's birthday, fittingly enough, the first elements of the returning GA National Guard 48th Brigade landed and were reunited with their families at FT. Stewart GA, from whence they had left last May 15. In that group was Mike's growing up best friend, SGT Charles Crowder, who was awarded a medal for risking his own safety, as a company medic, to rush to aid the wounded and dying soldiers of a 48th unit hit by an IED in late July. In that same explosion aftermath, a British soldier, also trying to help, was hit by a land mine and SGT Crowder rendered great aid with his medic training. Mike was the God Parent of SGT Crowder's baby girl, Destiny, born in October of 2004 - Mike slept on the hospital floor for two days awaiting her birth and was so proud - and as it turned out, his closest experience at being a "parent". He was taken aback by Destiny.
Mike's guys - E Troop 108th CAV - are due in to Ft. Stewart this coming Thursday, April 27 at around 10:00 p.m., if all goes well. The 108th lost Mike and two others - SGT Bobby Hollar and SGT George Draughn (both killed by an IED on Sept.1 05, about 8 miles from where Mike died). There were a number of 108th soldiers who were seriously wounded during the Iraq campaign - Patterson and Kellerman (same bomb that killed Mike), Mincey, Carroll, Mays, Hall, and Long to mention a few. Others had to come home early due to family emergencies, like Durham (was with Mike night he died) and Starnes. Obviously, the return of any element of the 48th is bittersweet for us, but certainly, never more so than when his actual unit and battle buddies come home.
These soldiers coming home represents a day that our family looked forward to even before Mike left. But, Mike Stokely went on a mission with his guys and that mission will be completed when his guys come home Thursday. I am committed to being there to cheer them in, hug them and feel joy with them and their families, for as as others wept with us in a true Biblical fashion, we should now rejoice with those who have reason to be joyous at the homecomng of their loved ones. Mike would expect no less, and it is my honor and duty to be there in his place, to stand joyous for and with his fellow soldiers and brothers.
The return will be at the parade field next to Warriors Walk, where each fallen soldier from FT. Stewart had a tree planted in their honor, properly marked by an engraved granite plaque. I haven't been back since the tree planting and dedication in honor of Mike last September. I will place a full set of the commemorative dog tags I had made for Mike on that beautiful Eastern Red Bud tree, which should be in full leaf. I remember last May 14, 2005, just before the Departure Ceremony that Mike advised me not to let his sister walk along Warriors Walk and see the trees, fearing it would upset her greatly as a young, about to be 13 year old. I told Mike "We can't hide her from the dangers you are soon to face, and we shouldn't hide these trees from her, for she may, in the coming year, see one planted in your honor".
Later, after the ceremony, in the hour or so we had before being required to leave the base and allow the soldiers to be locked down for the next day departure to Iraq, we had our last goodbyes. Our family left the last fifteen minutes to Mike and his wife of ten days, Niki. Retta, Wes and Abbey were already in the car as I lingered for a moment as I opened the door, gazing back at Mike. He was embracing Niki and neither of them saw me from where I stood thirty feet away. In that moment, a small, still voice said "take a good long look, for it will be your last". In the months that followed, that same voice said "prepare for the time when the bad news will come and you must bury your son." While I hoped I was wrong, an over anxious father with a son in war, I knew the time would come when that dreaded visit no family with a son in war wants comes - an officer and a chaplin.
At times during that three months Mike was in Iraq, I wished I had carried through with my plan on May 1 when he was home on leave - I had retrieved a bat from our basement and planned to shatter his shins so he couldn't go. I couldn't do it for who am I to hide my son from God or step in front of my son's right to be his own man and chose his own path? I told Mike about his and, as you would think, he laughed. On August 8, I told him again about me possibly doing this when he came home on leave September 1, and he laughed again - then got serious. In a firm, but reassuring and confident voice, Mike told me "dad, you said yourself you can't hide me from God; if God wants me he will take me in the safety of America as quick as the dangers of Iraq. I am an American soldier and I have to die sooner or later and I can't think of a better way to die than serving my country. If my time is here and now in this place, I am ready." One week later, Mike was killed by an IED that seriously wounded two of his fellow soldiers.
August 16, 2005 our mission of support for our son and his guys, changed as the word came of Mike's death earlier that morning, Baghdad time. Nothing can adequately prepare one for what the news brought to us at 7:00 a.m. bore. But, I am thankful the small, still voice warned me to prepare - a voice that I believe was God's way of telling me what I needed to be ready for. Many times since that moment, I have thought of what Mike - a young man of 23 years -said to me just a week before. Not only did God send a small still voice to prepare me, but he gave me a wise son who was secure in who he was, what he was doing, and able to help me understand death and life ever after better than I ever had before in my 53 years. Mike planned well for his death, making sure Niki was taken care of and that his eternity was secured. As said of him at his Memorial Service in Iraq, he could often be found reading his bible, something that was common to his beliefs and character back in the safety of his home in America.
We are eight months out from that ever to be remembered day in our family's life. We are now about to move yet another step in our family journey. But, we are living, as life is for the living, while remembering the son and brother we loved so much. Last night, Mike's sister, Abbey, presented the first scholarship of $500 for books was awarded to Randall Scott Tenney, a Northgate High School graduating senior. IShe stood on the same stage at the Coweta County Centre for Performing Arts to present this scholarship, where, just eight months ago, she sat at her brother's Memorial Service. In a few weeks, two more will be awarded at East Coweta High and Newnan High, all in Coweta County. Plans are underway to award a scholarship at Loganville High in Walton County - Mike's high school. It si hard to imagine and tugs at my heart that jsut five very short years ago we stood and watched him graduate. We could never have known that night in May, 2001, as we watched Mike receive his diploma, that we were watching a young man we loved so dearly who was well on the way to a special moment in a place far away called Yusufiyah Iraq, and that our family had begun a journey with him.
Thursday night, April 27, In my mind, when Mike's guys march onto Cottrell Field at Ft. Stewart, fresh off an 8,000 mile flight from Kuwait, Mike will be coming home in spirit with them. MISSION COMPLETE - CAV SCOUTS HOME!! He would be so proud of his "guys".
God bless our troops - especially Mike's guys, and thank you for this homecoming. Thank you God for letting me be Mike's dad and for the 23 plus years I had with him and a family to share him with. Thank you God for letting us have a lifetime of memories and a new day every day to remember him. Thank you America for allowing my son, SGT Mike Stokely, the opportunity to do what he wanted to do - serve his country, and for the generous outpouring of support for our family. Thank you America for the honor and remembrance you have shown my son, SGT Mike Stokely. Thank you, our friends, for being our friends, and just being there, sharing Mike with us all these years, and our journey this past year.
Not being a person of few words, but forced to do so in 27 characters or less on each of three lines on Mike's grave marker, I chose these words, with Niki's help and permission, to sum up his life:
DUTY HONOR COUNTRY
JOHN 15:13 - NO GREATER LOVE
HUSBAND SON BROTHER FRIENDRobert Stokely
proud dad, SGT Mike Stokely
KIA Yusufiyah Iraq IED
August 16, 2005
E Troop 108th CAV GA National Guard 48th Brigade US Army
Dear friends in the MilBlog World:
By now, it would be understandable if you and others were tired or hearing from me and what I say.
But, I feel a need to talk about my experiences. It makes me feel better to not hold it in.
It also is my hope that others can find something in what I say that makes them feel better, cope, or just think of things said from a perspective I now hold.
This weekend is a very traditional time in modern day American culture - it is Memorial Day Weekend whose premise is on remembering those who fell on the field of battle for the cause of freedom and in the service of our great country.
Realistically, it is a three day weekend that signals the start of summer fun for friends and family alike.
To be very honest with you, I can't claim to have placed the proper focus on this important weekend in so many years in the past.
But, this year I have a new perspective, to say the least.
Sadly, it probably took my son Mike dying in Iraq to make this holiday a time to truly focus on what Memorial Day means.
No doubt, I'd rather be remembering "someone else's" fallen soldier.
But, I also recognize that the lineage of fallen soldiers is one of privilege for the fallen's family members.
No soldier wills to die in battle, nor does a family hope such privilege is accorded them.
But, as the dad of a fallen soldier, I can say that I recognize such privilege is given me and our family for who else would it be given if we chose not to accept it?
SGT Mike Stokely is an example of a life lived well, boldly committed and bravely given.
He believed in God, Family, Duty, Honor, Country. He left nothing in reserve when it came to any of those life character traits.
How little it is for me and his family to show our love for him, to honor him, and serve in comfort and safety by simply accepting the privilege of service we have been given by his death in Iraq.
Thank you soldiers generations past and present for your sacrifice and giving us reason to have a Memorial Day.
I never got to tell Mike thank you, so I'll say it now -
Thank you son for your life, a life well lived, boldly committed, and bravely given. You made a difference, you died for a just cause, you will be remembered, and you are forever loved.
John 15:13 - No greater love...
Thank you God for the privilege of being Mike Stokely's dad.
God Bless America and those whose time of privileged committment is yet to come. The Stokely Family stands ready to serve with you.
Robert Stokely
Compare the above to the shenanigans of the misguided Cindy Sheehan, who continues to allow herself to be used by Anti-Liberation, Anti-America, Anti-Bush radicals on the Left.
No, Mr. Stokely, most Americans are sick, and tired, of hearing from, and about, Cindy Sheehan ( Read Catherine Seipp's devastating Dear Useful Idiot letter, in response to the new book by Cindy, in the new National Review. ).
We want to hear from people like you, and we want to hear from the soldiers on the front line, and reporters, and Bloggers, with a keen eye toward speaking truth, who continue to tell us what the Mainstream Media has a hard time doing:
That we are winning the fight against the forces of ignorance, and terror, and changing the lives of people in the Middle East for the better in the bargain.
Don't just take my word for it, read the words of Victor Davis Hanson, for starters. He asks some very pertinent questions:
"What did 2,400 brave and now deceased Americans really sacrifice for in Iraq, along with thousands more who were wounded? And what were billions in treasure spent on? And what about the hundreds of collective years of service offered by our soldiers?"
His answers are clear:
There may be a lot to regret about the past policy of the United States in the Middle East, but the removal of Saddam Hussein and the effort to birth democracy in his place is surely not one of them. And we should remember that this Memorial Day....
A decade of appeasement of Islamic terrorism, with retaliations after the serial attacks — from the first World Trade Center bombing to Khobar Towers and the USS Cole — never exceeding the occasional cruise missile or stern televised lecture, made September 11 inevitable....
Our soldiers fought for the chance of a democracy; that fact is uncontestable. Before they came to Iraq, there was a fascist dictatorship. Now, after three elections, there is an indigenous democratic government for the first time in the history of the Middle East. True, thousands of Iraqis have died publicly in the resulting sectarian mess; but thousands were dying silently each year under Saddam — with no hope that their sacrifice would ever result in the first steps that we have already long passed....
If many in the Middle East once thought it was cute that 19 killers could burn a 20-acre hole in Manhattan, I am not sure what they think of Americans now in their backyard not living to die, but willing to die so that other Arabs might live freely....
Please read the full essay here: Looking back at Iraq: A War to be Proud Of.
A Tip of the Hat to Instapundit.
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