Sneakeasy's Joint

The Directory Assistance Operator Song

You know.... I never wanted to be a Bookstore Clerk, and Manager, for 17 years in the first place!

I...  I wanted to be...

A DIRECTORY ASSISTANCE OPERATOR!

( Cradling a cell phone lovingly in his arms, like a baby... )

Handling call after call!  As they come down the mighty phone, and cable, wires of the world!  With my fellow Operators by my side!
The Residential Listing!
The Business Number!
The Movie Times and Reviews!
The Weather!
The Horoscope!
The Restuarant Reviews!
The Little 2 year olds making their 1st phone calls!
We Talk!  Talk!  Talk!

Ohhh, I'm a Directory Assistance Operator, and I'm okay.
I dream all night of taking your calls all day.

Phalanx of 6 Operators at their cubicles:
He's a Directory Assistance Operator, and he's okay.
He dreams all night of taking your calls all day.

I ask you for your listing please. I eat my lunch.
I go to the lava-try.
On my off day I go shoppin'
And come home to watch TV.

Operators: He asks you for your listing please. He eats his lunch.
                     He goes to the lava-try.
                     On his off day he goes shopping
                     And comes home to watch TV.

Chorus: I'm (He's) a Directory Assistance Operator, and I'm (he's) okay.
                  I (He) dream(s) all night of taking your calls all day.

I ask you for your listing please.
I help plan trips and find Docs to fix that lump.
I press computer keys for hours.
I put up with the occasional loathing
Your curses are like a bouquet of flowers.

Operators: He asks you for your listing please.
He helps plan trips and finds Docs to fix your lumps.
                      He presses computer keys for hours.
                      He puts up with your loathing
                      Your curses are like a... bouquet of flowers?!

Chorus: I'm (He's) a Directory Assistance Operator, and I'm (he's) okay.
                  I (He) dream(s) all night of taking your calls all day.

I ask you for your listing please.
Your ignorance makes my head reel,
As I try not to laugh, ha, ha!
It almost drives me nuts,
Just like my dear Papa! ( Throws Cell Phone to the floor, and stomps on it. )

Operators: He asks for your listing please.
Your ignorance makes his head reel,
                       It almost drives him... nuts?!
                      ( spoken, raggedly)  What's this?  Is he nuts??  Oh, My!

Chorus: I'm (He's) a Directory Assistance Operator, and I'm (he's) okay.
                  I (He) dreams(s) all night of taking your calls all day.

                Yes, I'm (He's) Directory Assistance Operator, and I'm (he's) ok-a-y.
                 I (He) dreams(s) all night of taking your calls all daaaayyyy!!!

***NOTE***

With humble apologies to the masters of the Monty Python Troop, and the performers of The Lumberjack Song! ;-D

At just over 7 minutes you get the Barber Shop set up, the song, and the afterwards.

Michael Palin was brilliant!

What more could you ask for? Life is good! ;-D

I love The Lumberjack Song, and that's ok,

It makes me smile, and laugh, all the live long daaaayyyy!!!! ;-D

Lyrics, so you can sing it yerself! ;-D

***END NOTE***

The Journey Begins

The forest seemed huge and forbidding to him as he stood in the road at its edge and contemplated traversing it to reach his destination.

The decision to leave made, he had begun to walk, but he did not feel threatened.

The valley he was leaving was empty of all life now, and he felt sadness at the thought of leaving the land of his youth.

The road through the forest was his pathway to adulthood.

His Father had walked it, and braved its challenges, as had HIS Father, and HIS Father's Father before him.

And so, it now was his turn, and slowly, tentatively, he stepped forward and set out....

***Image from the Stumble Upon page of Furball123.***

The Stumble Upon Effect

I've plugged some of my posts on Stumple Upon, in the past few months, and it has been interesting to see the response.

On December 24th I linked to my Poem Sneakeasys Joint: A Visit to Baghdad.

Since then there have been 60 visits, and 101 page views.

2 of those folks have rated the piece, and both were Thumbs Up, but neither left comments as to why. ;-D

On Jan.19th I posted my story Sneakeasys Joint: Alien Murdered on Streets of Huntington Beach!.

Since then there have been 108 visits, and 181 page views.

No one has voted Thumbs Up, or Down, yet. ;-D

I wonder how many of those folks read the Weekly World News, and how many of them BELIEVE its reporting? ;-D

Alien Murdered on Streets of Huntington Beach!

The search continues, after 3 years, for the killers of  Yoj Matihc,  from the planet Alienopolus, run over one night, on the sidewalk on Eddinger, near Gothard, in the quiet seaside community of Huntington Beach, CA..

The Visitor from another world was on a 2 person Exploratory Mission from his Planet, to see if Earth people were civilized, and intelligent enough, to handle 1st Contact.

"I heard the Commander say 'OOBAKEEP!! ( Look out!! )' as this strange, unlighted vehicle, with 1 human at the controls, ran right over ha, and kept on going ," said the creatures' companion Ddot. "Then there was silence. Ha was flattened! We can't even remove the remains for burial."

"We believe that he, it, um, whatever, was killed by either a Bicyclist, or someone in a wheechair," said Chief Investigator Jeri Dalts, of Huntington Beach PD. "The fact that this crime is still unsolved is terrible for the cause of Intergalactic Outreach in our city, as we gear up for the 2007 Surfing, and V- Ball Seasons."

Though a bike was found on the grounds of nearby Goldenwest College, it is an old model, with no way of identifing the brand, beyond being 10 speeds, and has no license tag.

"We've been on missions such as this plenty of times and nothing happened," said Ddot. "Of course we always tried to do our research unobserved, and were always successful. Until that night."

According to experts, such tragic encounters occur with disturbing regularity. "It's an ancient risk that the Visitors have always taken," said Prof. Yor Leig Bingpuled, of the United Nations Office for the Investigation of UFO's and other Unexplained Phenomena .

The death has left many on the creatures' home planet wary of making future contact with Earth.

"Our Leader, and Planetary Congress, have been sharply divided on the issue since the incident," said Ddot, now on his 3rd visit to check on the progress of Authorities, "Especially our Cimalsi Party. They want to declare Dahij, and let's just say that you would not like it if that happened."

White House Spokesman, Tony Snow, said the President had no comment.

Spokespersons for Democratic Leaders in Congress said they will form a Committee.

Pat Robertson, on the 700 Club, said it was God's Will, and serves as a sign of the End Times.

Republican Leaders are hoping Pat will just shut up, and believe that the whole story is something straight out of The Weekly World News, so not worth discussing anyway.

Cindy Sheehan plans to accompany Ddot back to his planet, as "An Ambassador for Peace, and Friendship, on behalf of Mankind", with the approval of the United Nations ( The US,and Britain, abstained from voting. )

I know that this reporter speaks for many Americans, when I say...

Good-bye luck Cindy! America, and the World, will be the better for your absence effort. ;-D

****UPDATE -- Midnite****

After thinking on it for a day, and checking the Website of the Weekly World News to see if I missed anything....

I decided to let them know that they have been beaten to a story by a lowly, insignificant, Blogger.

One that sometimes doesn't even wear his PJ's. ;-D

MY E-MAIL:

Dear Weekly World News:

For many years I have always been able to count on the responsible reporters of your newspaper to cover the stories that no-one else will.

Not CNN, Not FOX, Not Comedy Central, Not even the Blogosphere's own at Little Green Footballs, and Pajamas Media.

This week you let me down.

I got a story that you seem to be unaware of.

You appear to be completely out of the loop, despite your immense resources, financial, and otherwise.

This is a sad, sad, day, for Responsible Journalism.

Read it, and weep!

Alien Murdered on Streets of Huntington Beach! ( Picture included! ) = http://www.sneakeasysjoint.com/sneakeasy/2007/01/alien_murdered_.html

What do you have to say for yourselves in the face of this humiliation?

Sincerely yours,

MR. KIRIL KUNDURAZIEFF
Santa Ana, CA. USA

I will report any further developements if any, um, develope. ;-D

****END UPDATE****

ALONE: A poem

ALONE


In the morning I will awaken, I will walk
In the clinging fog; myself
Will look about, and not see another,
Alone in the park, and break
The silence with breath and footsteps;
I will enjoy the grass and the trees
Seeing what is to see, and hearing what I can not
In the shadows of the dawn; and myself
With hands in my coat pockets,
Will smile in contentment, and
Plan for the day that will be.

***Poetry Copyright 12/2006 - Kiril Kundurazieff***

Inspired by a poem: The Lonely Death by Adelaide Crapsey, the creator of the Cinquain ( 1878-1914 ).

Tips of the Hat to fellow Stumblers Halcyonbill, for finding, and  Candycandy, for sharing further, the image above.

Would This Make a Cool Epitaph, or What?

Here lies The Mad Macedonian
He made people think, and grin
This, annoyed Liberals thought a sin
He thus died knowing that right would win
Genealogy

If you enjoyed this little jingle, and missed the initial batch, 4 years ago, then boy are you in for a treat. ;-D

It's a Long Way to the Prairie

( Listen while U Read. ) ;-D

Up to the mighty South Grass came
An eager Snail one day,
All the streets were planted in green,
So everyone was gay!
Singing songs quite silly,
about the homeland Square,
'Til the Laddy got excited and
He shouted to them there:

It's a long way to the Praire,
It's a long way to go.
It's a long way to the Praire
To the sweetest she-snail I know!
Goodbye to life in the North,
Farewell to the Square!
It's a long long way to the Praire,
But my heart's right there.

The Laddy wrote a letter
To his Lady dear O',
Saying, "Should you not receive it,
Write and let me know!
If I make mistakes in "spelling",
dear", said he,
"Remember it's the pen, that's bad,
Don't lay the blame on me".

It's a long way to the Praire,
It's a long way to go.
It's a long way to the Praire
To the sweetest she-snail I know!
Goodbye to life in the North,
Farewell to the Square!
It's a long long way to the Praire,
But my heart's right there.

The Gal wrote a neat reply
To her Laddy O',
Saying, "Snike Snailoney wants
To marry me, and so
Leave the South Grass you Gastropod Molluskie,
Or you'll be to blame,
For love has fairly drove me silly,
Hoping you're the same!"

It's a long way to the Praire,
It's a long way to go.
It's a long way to the Praire
To the sweetest she-snail I know!
Goodbye to life in the North,
Farewell to the Square!
It's a long long way to the Praire,
But my heart's right there.

Finally, Spam makes itself useful

Robert Daeley, of the Blog Celsius 1414, has found an amusing, and creative, way for the spam in his e-mail to make themselves useful. ;-D

Poem constructed from the subject lines of spam email currently in my Junkmail folder.

Who woulda thunk it? ;-D

A Spoem! Spoetry!

Now I am wondering what I can get out of MY spam. ;-D

100 Words

Here are 100 words, no less, no more:

Laurence Simon is a blogger of many interests.

As a creative writer, myself, I’ve added one of his sections to my writing links, and may find myself doing an occasional exercise.

He likes to write 100 word stories, and read them, on Podcasts, for all to enjoy.

He also has a weekly challenge to readers to join in.

As he says:

I'll offer up a topic or theme which you will use as the inspiration to write and record your own 100 word story.

Enjoy his archives, and indulge your writing talent.

The Jabberliberal

'Twas brobby, and the flizzy wotes
Did ziffle and wapple in the yillie;
All ninsle were the jorigives,
And the rume taths ingrobie.

'Beware the Jabberliberal, my friend!
The pen that writes, the mouth that talks!
Beware the Jubleftie Snake, and the wind
Out the rear of the Feminista-squawks!'

He took his verpil Microphone in hand:
So long the tinzeme enemy he hunted--
Finally rested he by the BumBum stand,
Then stood awhile and grunted.

And, as in deep contemplation he stood,
The Jabberliberal, with nostrils flaring,
Came shuffling  through the neighborhood,
And screeched loudly without caring!

I am Air America!! And calmly and truly
The microphone spoke Conservative!
He left it hoarse, its voice gone Blooey
He then let loose with a happy expletive!

'And did you silence the Jabberliberal?
Come out of my radio, my voice of reason!
O dribjous day! Yeehaw! Yaziberal!'
I chortled and tried to keep from sneezin'.

'Twas brobby, and the flizzy wotes
Did ziffle and wapple in the yillie;
All ninsle were the jorigives,
And the rume taths ingrobie.

All thanks for the inspiration goes to Lewis Carrol, fellow Bear Flag League member Annika, and the comments of the blogger known as Tuning Spork, from Victor's interesting post. ;-D

Technorati Tags: Jabberliberal, Jabberwocky, Jubleftie Snake, Feminista-squawks

Innnnpuuuttt!!!!

Back in March I wrote a post encouraging people to weigh in with their thoughts on a pair of related short stories I have written.

I wanted readers to think about certain things as they read the stories, and formed their opinions, and then to share those opinions with me in a comment, or e-mail.

Yesterday my recent correspondent, Beth, became the 1st person to so respond, and I added her e-mailed thoughts to the comments, in the hopes of encourages future readers to toss in their own 2 cents.

I came home tonite to be pestered by Nikita, in the hopes that I could get HIM some advice and encouragement, too. ;-D

As any observant visitor will have noticed, by now, Nikita, my feline best bud, and the Bouncer of this fine establishment, has been active in the side bar.

With his recent return to making blogging contributions, as he celebrated his 8th birthday, he has, with my enthusiastic encouragement, begun adding links below his Photo in the sidebar.

As he contemplates contributing more around here, he is also, it seems, at least considering the unthinkable: Once more tackling his Memoirs.

It has been very hard over the years for him to even think about the lost 21 chapters.

He is troubled by these considerations:

1. Should he try to re-write what was lost even though the new version might not have the same sense of immediacy, and emotion, that was the hallmark of the writing of the powerful original that cemented his reputation as a well respected contributor to message boards, and later led to his contributions here?

2. Should he ignore what was lost, and move forward from where he left off?

3. Or should he try to do both?

Doing anything about this won't be an over night decision, after all it has taken over 3 years to get him back to considering the project at all.

In the meantime he hopes to get readers to express their opinion on that part of his memoirs that remain, and on the 3 choices above.

Maybe it was turning 8, and thus heading into Feline Middle Age ( 48, in Cat Yrs.! ), that has stirred his interest in finding ways to contribute around here, once again, I don't know, but it appears that he is serious.

Let's see how long it lasts. ;-D

Technorati Tags: Cat

Writer's Digest Honors Writing Website

This is so cool!

Writer's Digest  has chosen Writing.com as one of their 101 best websites for writers for 2006. Check out the full list over at writersdigest.com or in their May issue.

I recently just joined the site, and this justifies my decision to do so.

National Poetry Month 5: Poetic Forms up the Yin-Yang

Want to try your hand at Poetry?

There are many Poetic Forms.

Here are descriptions, and examples, of 54 of them. ;-D

Among the 31 found here are many not listed at the above site.

Poetry Patterns, including many not found at the above 2 sites.

30 days of Poetry includes some forms not found at the above 3.

Glossary of Poetic Terms includes many Forms not found in the above 4 sites.

1. The monotetra has a single rhyme per verse. Each line has 8 syllables, with the fourth line being a set of 4 syllables repeated.

2. Riddle poems, and how to make them.

3. 7 types of Concrete Poems.

4. Poem of Address: The poet writes as though speaking to a person, or object.

Technorati Tags: Poem, Poems, Poetry, Rhyme, Verse

National Poetry Month 4: Eye of the Beholder

Amazing, isn't it, how 2 people reading the same poem, or book, or viewing the same film can have such different reactions?

Poetry, especially, can do that.

A case in point:

Way back in 2003 I wrote a poem called The Dandyfosilthiselwig.

I posted it in my file on the writing website mentioned in the last post, introducing it by saying "Written on a 90 min. bus ride, in 7/03, that began near a wooded area" then went to the page where we can Plug a piece we wanted people to read, and announced it this way:

"What would Darwin make of THIS plant? Did the "Great Evolutionist" mix these ingredients while tipsy?"

REACTION #1:

I loved this poem! The Dandyfosilthiselwig sounds like something Dr. Seuss would have thought up! Someone with a less-quirky sense of humor wouldn't appreciate it, but you DID mention your weird humor in your bio.

Somebody knows how to laugh. ;-D

National Poetry Month 3: Again with the Genealogy

Just because you write a poem it does not mean that you have to leave it that way.

OR a collection of poems for that matter.

Case in point:

Let me remind you of a bunch of little ditties I wrote 4 years ago.

I joined a writing community this past week that I am still learning my way around, but one thing I know for sure is that feedback will be as plentiful, informative, and rewarding as reading what my fellow members have written, providing my own thoughts on them.

I shared a dozen of the above mentioned ditties, and  then was concerned that I might have broken a rule for non-paying members about posting more than 1 poem, or story, per entry in my Portfolio.

A longtime member responded this way:

It appears as if Geneology is one poem with 12 parts or stanzas, so it should be fine.

Collections of poems or stories are not allowed in one item (for free members)
- but a chained haiku or a multi-part poem on the same theme is okay.  That is
what yours appears like to me, especially with the repeating last line.

It really seems like one poem in many parts.   

But if you feel as if this is truly 12 separate poems, and each stand alone
(and could be reviewed separately) - then, with a free membership, they would
need to be separated.  But I really feel as if they are one piece.

Well, I went back, and looked at it.

I had posted them pretty much as I did here but, upon looking at them as she saw them I saw what she meant after I switched the order of the 1st 2 Ditties.

National Poetry Month 2

In May 2004 I wrote a piece called Haikus, Tankas, and Cinquains, oh my!.

In it, along with examples, I issued a challenge to Bloggers, and other readers who read the piece.

Not many have taken up the challenge ( See the Comments, and Trackbacks, AND this post, and this one at my BikeBlog ) but, in honor of National Poetry Month I'm re-issueing the challenge. ;-D

This won't be the only challenge, though.

You see I've just purchased a wonderful, and simple, book that bills itself as "An Everyday Guide to Poetic Forms", and has descriptions, and examples, of 29 such forms ( More about this in another post ).

As time goes by, and I try my own hand at these, I will  post another challenge for each one I attempt. ;-D

Technorati Tags: Poetry, Poetic, Haikus, Tankas, Cinquains

April is National Poetry Month

April is National Poetry Month, and it's not too late to celebrate!

This is the 10th Anniversary of the is event founded by The Academy of American Poets.

National Poetry Month:

National Poetry Month was established by the Academy of American Poets as a month-long, national celebration of poetry. The concept was to increase the attention paid-by individuals and the media—to the art of poetry, to living poets, to our poetic heritage, and to poetry books and magazines. In the end, we hoped to achieve an increase in the visibility, presence, and accessibility of poetry in our culture. National Poetry Month has been successful beyond all anticipation and has grown over the years into the largest literary celebration in the world.

This is the 1st of several posts this wee that will encourage you to read poetry, and even write poetry of your own.

You may think you don't have it in you to write a poem, but you would be mistaken.

If even I can discover my talent for the stuff then you can, too!

My poems:

June 2002: GENEALOGY!: Ditties Inspired By Burma Shave Signs.

Dec. 2002: A Bloggerverse Jingle Bells.

June 2003: SPRING IS.

July 2003: THE DANDYFOSILTHISELWIG.

July 2003: Bob Hope Dies at 100.

Oct. 2003: Poetry based on a collection of Fab Fall Photos From Friend.

Nov. 2003: Where I'm From.

Dec. 2003: A Tribute to the Day After Xmas.

Sept. 2004: Blogger Seuss Meets Dan Rather. ( Sorry but the Picture needs to be replaced! )

Dec. 2004: My Armour Hotdog Song Parody.

Dec. 2004: My 2004 Contribution to Xmas Poetry: Round of Beer.

Jan. 2005: Litter: A Poem.

Oct. 2005: Television as Poetry.

Nov. 2005: The Key.

Dec. 2005:  A Visit to Baghdad: A Tribute to our valiant Military.

Technorati Tags: Poem, Poets, Poetry

The Mad Macedonian Writes Again!

A Press Release from The Maceyugoserbulgarigreekadonian Compound, in anticipation of the 4th Anniversary of this fine establishment next month:

The Mad Macedonian! "Hi Yo Cleopatra!"

A Silver Steed, with the wheels, and gears, of a Racing Bike, and the body, and ( Conservative )soul, of a Mountain Bike, a burst of speed, and a hearty "Hi Yo Cleopatra, away!"

On his Blog, Sneakeasy's Joint, the daring, and opinionated, Lone Blogger writes on anything, and everything, that strikes his fancy, from his personal life, and life in Orange County, California, to the issues of the day in California, America, and the World, and leads the fight to spread the word about the joys of living in the greatest nation the Earth has ever known.

Return to this Thrilling Blog, its numerous resource links, and its archives of the past 4 years, as often as you choose.

The Mad Macedonian Writes Again!

Technorati Tags: Blog, Blogger, California, America, Earth, Macedonian, Press, Release, Maceyugoserbulgarigreekadonian

The Storyteller wants YOU!

ELBIE'S BAR AND GRILL: THE RETURN

The denizens of Elbie's are murmuring among themselves.

The mysterious Storyteller has come back, and the feeling in the audience is one of curiosity, and... anticipation.

The voices still as the lights dim and a spotlight is trained on the famous stage...

A dark haired figure dressed all in black nods toward the audience & begins to speak...

"Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen, I am a humble weaver of tales. My name is Sneakeasy, and you have enjoyed my stories in the past and have probably wondered where I've been in the last 2 years.

I have been on a journey to explore this land. A land of fresh beginnings for me, and one, I believe, that will provide me with new ideas for my storytelling.”

But enough of that.... for now.

I wrote this essay in December 2004, and a lot has happened since.

Now I'd like your thoughts on the 2 visits to Elbie's Bar and Grill on several levels, especially those of you who are writers, and storytellers.

I was reading one of my writing books, and the author talks about 1st sentences, and paragraphs, being narrative hooks to draw the reader in, and hook them.

Reading that 1st chapter got me to thinking about my Storyteller Saga.

The Directory Assistance Operator Song Preview

I have been a Directory Assistance Operator for 1 year, and a half, and that experience has caused my creative juices to begin percolatin'. ;-D

One of my all-time favorite Monty Python Skits is The Lumberjack Song.

A few lines popped into my head recently:

I'm a ************ I hear you say,

But I make good money answering your calls all the live long day! ;-D

The original word that popped into my head didn't sit well with me, so I've been thinking about an appropriate alternative.

HOWEVER it must be the right word, a word that is INCLUSIVE.

A word that my Co-workers, of all genders, and sexual orientations, can feel free to sing with Gusto!

A Word we ALL get called sometimes a dozen times a day! ;-D

The  MF-Word is gender specific, more often than not, as is one of the B-Words.

The Distaff side of our Community gets called the C-Word, and the other B-Word, among others.

I mean no offense to those of my comrades who are Transgender, but if, over the phone, to the caller, you sound male, or female, then they believe you are, and there ain't nothing you can do about it.

The F-Word IS inclusive, but, like those above, totally inappropriate for a Sing-A-Long. ;-D

So.... What is that word?

Asshole!

It's a physical attribute we ALL share in common. ;-D

I copied, and saved, the original Lumberjack Song, and will start considering my "Directory Assistance Operator Song" in the coming days. ;-D

I envision a Union Meeting, or social gathering....

A makeshift stage with a handfull of our cubicles, but only one positioned so the audience can see the Soloist at his computer, and wearing his earphones.

During the singing of each Chorus a dozen male, and female, operators pop up from behind their cubicles to warble their lines, and then disappear again.

I know, I know, I'm a Baaaad Boy. ;-D

A Sneakeasy State of the Union Address

Ladies, and Gentlemen, Members of Congress, our brave men, and women in the Armed Services, my fellow Americans, the Blogs of the Union ( BOTU ), the worldwide Blogosphere, and the worldwide TV, and Radio audience...

I come to you today to discuss not just the State of the Union, but also some things that, due to our sometimes hectic lives, we don't take the time to contemplate and, because of that focus you can visit the Official White House Website, or read your local papers for a text of an important supplimentary report on the State of the Union.

So let me get started:

A Visit to Baghdad

Over the last few days I've been reading soldiers stories, and the stories of proud parents of soldiers who died in the war, as posted on numerous  Blogs and, this morning, as I sat here safe in my apartment free to enjoy the fun of a week long nasty cold, and cough, without fear of a terrorist blowing up my residence, it occurred to me that there was something I could do to express my thanks to all of these people for their brave sacrifices.

With sincere apologies to Clement Moore:

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through Baghdad
Neither citizen, nor soldier was stirring, not even the Baker, Hadad;
The soldiers socks were hung around the cramped room with care,
As everyone joked that St. Nicholas would get quite the scare;
The mens weapons were nestled all snug next to their make-shift beds,
While visions of capturing Osama danced in their heads;
And the Sergeant in his helmet, and I in my cap,
Had just settled down to look over a map;
When out on the street there arose such a noise,
We awoke the patrol, with caution, and poise.
Away to the windows we flew like a flash,
To see who in tarnation was being so brash.
The moon being full, and all a glow,
Made everthing clear down below,
When what to our wondering eyes should appear,
But an armored Sleigh, and 8 battle-ready rein-deer,
With a camoflaged driver, so alert, and quick,
We knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.
To a stop his coursers they came,
And he whispered to them one by one, each name;
"Hush, Dasher! Hush, Dancer! Quiet, Prancer, and Vixen!
Silence, Comet, Cupid, Donder, and Blitzen!
To that nearby porch! Your asses haul!
Now dash that way! That way! That way all!"
As dry leaves that before the desert wind fly,
When they meet an obstacle, react in the blink of an eye;
So over to our building the whole crew flew,
With the sleigh full of packages, and letters, and the Old Soldier, too.
And then in a twinkling, I heard a voice say "oomph",
Someone with a big load was worried about carrying it to the roof--
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Through the door St. Nicholas came with a bound.
He was dressed as we were, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all dusty from his hat to his boot;
A bundle of gifts he had dragged in a sack,
And he looked like the mailman just opening his pack.
His eyes-- how they twinkled!  even his dimples were merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His mouth though was serious, through a beard white as snow,
Afterall he was standing in the middle of a War Zone, you know;
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encirled his head like a wreath;
With that broad face, and big round belly,
That shook when he suddenly laughed like a bowl full of jelly,
He was chubby, and plump, a serious, yet still jolly, old elf,
And we all laughed when we saw him in spite of ourselves.
A wink of his eye, and a twist of his head,
Gave us to know that we had nothing to dread;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
Approaching the mens socks, he turned with a smirk,
And, after pressing his fingers to his nose,
He passed items out to all 12 of us as we stood in 4 rows;
Then he sprang outside to his sleigh, and to his team gave a "Yo"!,
And away they all flew, to another encampment they would go;
But we heard him exclaim, as he flew out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night."

Blogs, and websites, you owe it to yourself to visit can be found at The Mudville Gazzette, Sgt. Hook, A Female Soldier, The Military Outpost, and MilBlogging.com.

Other sites:

www.AmericaSupportsYou.mil, Operation Gratitude, and www.SoldiersAngels.com. ( A Tip of the Hat to Instapundit! )

Thank a Soldier Week ( Dec. 19th to Dec. 25th ). ( A Tip of the Hat to The Mudville Gazzette! )

A wonderful bit of Flash Animation, by Cap'n Bob, that reminds us all why our Men, and Women, are over there:

Never Forget! ( A Tip of the Hat to Sgt. Hook! )

Television as Poetry

CABLE: A Poem

Cable, cable what's on tonite?
Can little children watch alright?
Will we laugh, or will we cry,
or will we cringe in fright?

Channel Surfing

KCOP, KABC, KCAL, KTLA,
KTBN,  KMEX, KOCE, KDOC?
KCBS, KNBC, KTTV, KXLA,
KPXN, KCOP, KCET, KWHY?

BET, QVC, MTV, STYLE!
VH-1, HGTV, Food, Comedy!
Hallmark, HG, Oxygen,
Home Shopping Network!

Learning, History, Discovery,
Travel, Weather, Science!
Animal Planet, PBS,
National Geographic!

AMC, Cartoon, NICK?
Disney, Lifetime, TNT?
A and E, Sci-Fi, USA,
Bravo!

Court TV, Headline News,
CNN, CNBC, CSPAN?
FOX, BBC, MSNBC,
Bloomberg, CSPAN-2!

ESPN, FSN, Tennis, Golf!
Outdoor Channel, Outdoor Life,
College Sports, Soccer!
Fit TV?

Submitting to your inner poet

Discovering your talent for poetry can enrich your life.

It has mine, as I've bought a handful of books to help me explore this side of my creative writing talent.

2 recent purchases include:

The Poet's Companion: A Guide to the Pleasures of Writing Poetry by Kim Addonizio and Dorianne Laux.

In the Palm of your Hand: The Poet's Portable Workshop by Steve Kowit.

A few months ago I submitted an old poem to the 2nd edition of the newly born Carnival of Poets set up on its own Blog by a guy named Matt.

I recentrly had been wondering when that edition would show up, and was pleasantly suprised get a trackback earlier in the week.

I'll let Matt explain the delay.

Reader shares Cinquain and Haiku

A year ago, today, I wrote a piece called Haikus, Tankas, and Cinquains, oh my!.

In it, along with examples, I issued a challenge to Bloggers, and other readers who read the piece.

Not many have taken up the challenge, but today I got a comment  to the piece that I'm moving front and center:

I have a Cinquain that is a little bit different.  The format that I was taught is:

noun
2 adjectives discribing the noun
3 verbs the noun is doing
a phrase that discribes the noun
a SYNONYM

My flag poem goes a follows:

Flag
Honorable, Representative
Billowing, Flying, Fighting
Stars and Stripes Forever
Old Glory

I also have a Haiku:

Muddy Rain Water
Crawling through the wet mud
Physical Training

Written by Mary Kate Murray

Thank you Mary for sharing those wonderful little poems! :-D

This sparked a comment from Debbie, of AMAZE: The Cinquain Journal.

Litter: A Poem

Over a week ago columnist Gordon Dillow, of the OC Register, wrote a column deploring the refuse that turns up on our local beaches after a rainstorm sends it all down through the sewers, and concrete rivers, to the ocean.

It was called "Sore about what rain brings."

His lengthy catelogue of what he found was as fascinating, as it was disgusting.

As I read the piece I felt that there was poetry, there, if I put some thought  into it.

And so there was.

I sent it to the Letters page, and to Mr. Dillow, on Jan. 2nd.

Mr. Dillow sent a kind reply on the 5th, but the paper never called, and has yet to publish it so I figure It's time to share the poem here.

Enjoy. :-)

My 2004 Contribution to Xmas Poetry

On the way home from work, Wednesday night, I found myself humming a song , Holly, Jolly, Christmas, made popular by Burl Ives, in the 1965 animated special Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer, and sudden inspiration put in motion a notion for a parody.

My Armour Hotdog Song Parody

The English Language

Language, the Eng-lish language.

What kinds of writers use the English language?

Novelists, biographers, journalists,

bloggers posting on their soapbox!

Poets, playrights,

ev-en lyricists whose music rocks

love language, the Eng-lish language,

the language we love to write!

***Created in honor of the jingle known as the Armour Hotdog Song during an inspired lunch break at work yesterday, 12/23/2004.

Words! Aren't they Just Adorable?

Words!

We can't live with'em!

We can't live without them!

So what's a writer to do?

Collect them, that's what!

In her new book, Pens on Fire, the author Barbara DeMarco-Barrett heads a chapter on "harvesting words" with a quote by Hortense Calisher, from her book Extreme Magic:

The words! I collected them in all shapes and sizes, and hung them like bangles in mind.

Barbara isn't the 1st author I've read, this year, who suggested collecting words for future inspiration, but her little pep talk on the subject inspired me to recently expand from 1 simple notebook to several.

The idea is to use them in writIng prompts, or incorporate them into your writing.

Ideas for stories, and poems, just waiting to be found, I suppose.

Thinking of the possibilities in the few words, and phrases, I've collected in the past week or so, appeals to my peculiar sense of humor just for starters.

The Salute of the Legion

The Coliseum floor is covered by neat, orderly, ranks of Warriors.

They carry the accoutrements of their profession with pride, and confidence.

Confidence in their ability to acquit themselves well, and bring honor to their family, and country, and those from whom they continue to learn to hone their skills.

As they gaze out at the seats around them, filled to the top with all the people who have played a role in helping them get this far, they prepare to pay homage to them on the verge of what is to come....

The Power, Challenge, and Talent to Write: And Developing it

I like to write.

Always have, I guess, ever since I was in Elementary School ( early 70's ), then Junior High and High School ( mid/late 70's ), writng book reports, and then letters to the editor of the local paper.

For various reasons none of that ever translated into a career path.

Joining the online discussion through message boards in 1999, then Blogging in 2002, rekindled the urge to write.

You have the power to write... So take up your pen, open your heart, your mind, and your soul, and just let the words start flowing -- Caroline Joy Adams

So I have here, I think, and in some unexpected ways, especially since the Spring of last year.

It was then that I re-discovered my creativity as a writer.

Blogger Seuss Meets Dan Rather

My creative juices have been in overdrive, today, and it's all the fault of Dan Rather. :-)

Dan, and many in the Mainstream, Old-Style, Media, and non-blogging public, understand little about the Bloggerverse, and the diversity of content, and contributors there is to be found there.

It's not ALL Politics, and War.

FINALLY, that ignorance may change because of current events.

Anyway, here is a little something I wrote for your enjoyment, "In defense of the PJ Pundit", and I wish to thank the incomparable Dr. Seuss for providing the inspiration.

I loved the Doc, when I was 2.

And, bless him, I STILL do. :-)

Poetry Challenge Round-up

3 days ago I issued a Poetry Challenge to my readers, and the Bloggerverse.

Haikus, Tankas, and Cinquains, Oh My!.

On my Bicycling blog, THE CYCLING DUDE, is a story linking to the Haiku page of a Cycling Blog which inspired not only 2 Haiku, and 2 Tanka of my own, but was the inspiration for this challenge of mine.

Bicycle Poetry

Several people have bravely taken up my challenge already. :-)

In the COMMENTS JASPAR contributed 2 initial entries, and FESTE produced 1.

In the Bloggerverse 2 fellow Bear Flaggers took up the challenge:

Ryan, of RYAN'S HEAD, offered up 2 Haiku, and 1 Cinquain for his readers pleasure in Poetry Challenge.

Christopher, of TAN HORIZONS, wrote a Cinquain for his readers pleasure in Poetry Contest.

Thanks go out to all these writers for their well thought out and written contributions.

Let's see if more follow their lead. :-)

Haikus, Tankas, and Cinquains, Oh My!

Words have meaning.

They can evoke the whole spectrum of emotions in those who read, or hear them.

They can inspire a person to great deeds, and to terrible ones as well.

And that's just your Credit card bill. :-)

Seriously, all manner of literature exists that this applies to.

One genre is that of Poetry.

From the simple, and short, to the long, and involved, the various forms of the Poetic Tradition have had a hold on our imaginations for thousands of years.

Eleven Hundred Posts

A funny thing happened on the way to this historical event in the life of this website.

My 1100th post as a blogger didn't happen on Sneakeasy's Joint, but on its offspring, THE CYCLING DUDE! :-)

My creative writing juices were flowing tonite, and I created 4 poems, in 2 forms:

The Haiku, and the Tanka.

I hope you enjoy my little bit of Cycling Poetry

Finding Writing Sites Online

I write, therefore I am.
Short stories, and poetry, maybe to publish.
Some website says I'm genius, but it's a scam,
As they charge a fortune to meet my fondest wish.

Prompting Myself To Write 8

101 I Am's

1, I am a 43 3/4 year old man.

2. I am single man.

3. I am a Macedonian-American.

4. I am a bookworm.

5. I am a movie buff.

6. I am a Writer.

7. I am a Poet.

8. I am a Storyteller.

9. I am a Journalist.

10. I am a Family History Researcher.

Prompting Myself to Write 7

WRITE ABOUT YOUR 1ST EXPERIENCE WITH BIRTH. WHO WAS BORN?
WHAT DID YOU KNOW ABOUT BIRTH BEFORE THE EVENT?
WHAT DID YOU COME TO LEARN ABOUT BIRTH AFTER THE EVENT?

Prompting Myself to Write 6

Why am I looking inward, in my current run of Prompts?

In the book they are in, The Writer's Idea Book, I am reading a chapter that begins with a quote from Peter Devries:

The writer can only explore the inner space of his characters by perceptively navigating his own.

The author of the book writes:

Getting to know who you are is indeed helpful-- and it's probably one of the reasons that you write. It's also helpful to know yourself better in order to find the sources of your creativity.

So off I go to continue this particular exploration.

Prompting Myself to Write 5

PICK THE 1ST ONE OF THE 20 EXPERIENCES, IN THE PREVIOUS PROMPT, TO POP INTO YOUR HEAD, AND EXPLORE IT IN A NARRATIVE.
THEN WRITE ABOUT WHY AND/OR HOW IT WAS SIGNIFICANT.
WHAT DID IT MEAN TO YOU? HOW DID IT CHANGE YOU? WHAT DOES IT'S SIGNIFICANCE SAY ABOUT YOU?

Prompting Myself to Write 4

LIST 10 SIGNIFICANT EXPERIENCES IN MY LIFE:

1. Age 9 ( 1969 ) - Father becomes Mentally Ill.
2. 1970 - I begin 8 years of playing the Violin.
3. 1978 - I graduate from High School.
4. 1982 - Bachelor's Degree from Call State Los Angeles.
5. 1984 - 1st job. PT for Pomona Newsstand.
6. 1988 - Father Dies.
7. 1990 - Mother Dies.
8. 1998 - I go bankrupt because of Credit Cards.
9. 1999 - I get a Computer for my Birthday in March
10. 2002 - I become a Weblogger.
11. 2003 - I move to Orange County.
12. 2003 - I Give away the Bride at the 2nd wedding of one of my sisters.

Sharing My Poetry

As regular readers here know I've taken to writing poetry over the last year, and have even boldly ventured forth to read the stuff in front of an audience.

Well, I've joined a website for publishing poetry, and that gives tips on writing poems.

A Tribute to the Day After Xmas

From me, and Nikita, to you and your family, dear reader, we wish you a very Merry Christmas, and a Happy, and prosperous New Year!

It is raining in Southern California, on Xmas Day, for the first time in 20 years!:-)

I have chosen this day to give my Slow Cooker its first workout, by cooking a very simple Pot Roast recipe involving a 3lb. pot roast, an envelope of onion soup mix, and 2 cans of Coke.

After 7 -8 hours on Low, I will attempt to survive eating this concoction.

I'm not worried, though, since I have cooked something similar before in my oven, years ago. :-)

I have spent the day writing the 2nd of 2 poems that I wish to share with you, and touching up the first one that I wrote earlier in the week.

I dedicate them, with humble apologies, to Clement Moore ( A visit from St. Nicholas ), and an unknown Catholic writer ( 12 days of Christmas ) of a few centuries ago:

Where I'm From

Have you ever thought about your origins?

How aspects of your life history, and that of your ancestors, conspired to make you what you are today?

Fred, from Fragments From Floyd, has issued a challenge to fellow bloggers.

He begins this way:

"George Ella Lyons is an Appalachian author with a long list of children's books to her credit. Her poem, WHERE I'M FROM, begins in this way:

I am from clothespins,
from Clorox and carbon-tetrachloride.
I am from the dirt under the black porch.
(Black, glistening it tasted like beets.)

Each of us is from a place that is more than a dot on the map. Every experience that we can recall has left its mark on who we are. Nobody is from Clorox, but can't you smell the laundry room at the author's house as a little girl?

I'd like to make a suggestion-- not just to the 'writers' who read this, but to everyone."

Go read Where are you from?, and the related links, to learn more about how YOU can participate.

THEN come back here to read MY contribution:

Is This What it's Like?

At the latest Writer's Cafe, on wednesday night, our exercises had a decidedly spiritual aspect to them.

One exercise involved writing about "BEFORE YOU WERE BORN":

Fab Fall Photos From Friend

One of the first folks I "met" online, 4 yrs. ago, was a wonderful "Lady in Michigan" who, like me, has an interest in books, photography, and genealogy.

She has been a supporter, and cheerleader, through all my ups and downs, and though we have never met in person I am glad to have her as a friend.

She recently sent me a link to her latest group of photos and it is these I wish to share today.

She has a talent for photography that is something I aspire to reach someday, with practice, and I asked her to contribute a few words to accompany her work:

Michigan is a beautiful state. There are opportunities for photographing nature all year round. I have had an interest in composition with the camera since my college days and continue to get enjoyment from what nature has to offer the novice or the professional photographer. The "pre peak" fall color photographs you see in these pics were taken using a Kodak DC3400 (2.0 megapixel) digital camera. I switched from an older Olympus digital a year or so ago to the convenience of the Kodak and have been very satisfied with the results. Many of the pictures I take are for their color and composition from a painterly standpoint. However, there are a few whose composition was unsatisfactory but their color was so refreshing that I had to capture them for no reason other than enjoyment. If you haven't tried photography. Give it a go. It is a wonderful hobby that gives enjoyment to all ages. Now get out there and "snap a few."

Michigan in the Fall: A Photographic Tribute

As a writing exercise I have done something of my own to accompany each picture:

Living in Orange 5

Living in Orange 5 has been announced by WRITING IN ORANGE:

You spend the majority of your waking time doing it, so why not? Write about your job: What is it like? Are you doing what you want to do?

My job?

I'm a minimum wage cashier for a major depar