This is going to be a long post, folks, so grab the munchies, a couple of beers, and maybe a hankie or 2, and settle in....
One of the most important things about the rise of the Internet over the last 15 years has been its impact on how people meet, engage, and become friends with, other people.
It began with Online Forums, including those where folks exchanged messages just by e-mail, and evolved into sharing ones life, interests, and opinions, thru Blogging, and the wonderful ability to comment on others blogs, and receive comments on your own, and now we have YouTube, and simlar video sharing sites.
This is a story of how my life was, and continues to be, changed by such encounters, and friendships.
It is a celebration of ongoing friendships, and a way for me to pay tribute, in a small way, to 2 friends I lost in the Summer of 2005.
For me going online, and joining a Community at the old Time Online Film Forum, in 1998, changed my life.
I was a loner in a deadend job, unsure of myself, where I was headed, and whether I would ever have friends, and relationships, to enrich my life.
Thru the Forums I joined I gained friends, and an audience, for my opinions, and my creative writing, and a place for just being me.
I went to dinners with a few local members, and in 2000 was invited to a 4 day wedding weekend in Phoenix, and in Sept., 2001, to a 4 day weekend trip to hang out with people in Chicago.
I had never taken plane trips before, or traveled so far alone, and the experiences of those weekends changed my life yet again.
During these early years I ventured into the Political, and Social, Forums, as well, and discovered a once proud Community, on one thread, with a long, distinguished, history, that was in its apparent, dying days, as few people ventured into it.
Suddenly I found myself with 5 new friends, 2 Conservatives ( 1 male, 1 female ), and 3 fellow Liberals ( All Women ).
When Time closed its Message Forums 2 of the Communities I was in went to other forum sites, to soldier on, but this one small group took our relationship into one of those formats where you can get your communiques by e-mail.
As that momentious year of 2001 went on Sept. 11 came, and went, and my politics began to evolve as I left Liberalism behind for good, and went searching for something infinitely better, eventually becoming a Conservative ( Moderate Persuasion ).
By the middle of 2003 I was losing the friends on the message boards because they were so far to the Left that the slightest step to the right was, um, frowned upon, heh, heh.
The amazing thing was that this was not happening among my e-mail friends.
6 wonderful, diverse, and opinionated, people, of various ages, income levels, and careers, had found that we also had a lot in common, and could talk about so many things, from our lives to the world around us ( And share photos of ourselves, our homes, and pets. ) and we didn't have to talk about Politics, or Religion, to do so either ( Though it has slipped in on occasion. ).
These people encouraged my entrance into the world of Blogging, in 2002, and lent a sympathetic ear, and plenty of wise counsel, as my life has evolved, and my circumstances, personally, and financially, have changed for the better.
I am not the same person I was before going online, and I am definitely not the same person I was before Sept. 11, 2001.
I had thought of delving into our Archives to find examples of e-mails from Susan, and Carolyn, that showed what they meant to me for a tribute long before now, but never had enough time, and finally realized that there was just too much to choose from.
The politics of Susan, and Carolyn, were to the Left of my own Liberalism to different degrees, but they accepted, and understood, my own evolution to the Right, and did not let that affect our friendship.
Susan read my Blogs often, and commented over 30 times in 3 years, and Carolyn, ahh, Carolyn...
Being a former journalist she encouraged my Blogging wholeheartedly, and did me the honor of giving me a tour of Chicago when I visited a few days before Sept. 11, 2001.
( This collection of old Forum posts gives you the flavor of the trip to Chicago, and my visit with Carolyn, and another, self-guided, tour with another Journalist friend that ends with me, um, rather drunk. It offers a brief insight into my frame of mind 4 days after Sept. 11 as well. )
As the years went by we learned that Carolyn had Cancer, and she shared much of her experience with us, though her e-mails became less frequent as her, and her husband, took the time to travel overseas.
Susan had medical issues as well but, we learned later, kept much of the story to herself.
In the late spring of 2005 Susan suddenly stopped e-mailing, and though Carolyn had as well, it was not as noticeble to us.
Finally, in Sept., after months of having e-mails to Susan bounce, one of us did some Internet sleuthing, and this was how we learned of the fates of our friends:
The Social Security Death Index for our dear Suze Q was found. ( Jan. 1948 - June 2005 ).
The obituary for our dear Carolyn:
Carolyn C.
CHICAGO - Funeral Mass for Carolyn C., 66, of Chicago, formerly of Champaign, will be celebrated at 10 a.m. Monday at Holy Cross Church, 403 W. Clark St., C.
The Rev. Stephen Willard will officiate.
Burial will be in Roselawn Cemetery, Champaign.
Visitation will be from 6 to 8 p.m. Sunday at Owens Funeral Home, 101 N. Elm St., C, with a parish wake service at 5:45 p.m.
Mrs. C. died at 2:30 a.m. Thursday (Aug. 11, 2005) at home.
Family, and friends, apparently had no knowledge of their longtime friendships with us, and so we almost never new what happened.
The tragedy of Susan came home to us when we discovered a Memorial Website dedicated to her.
She had friends in other forums, and their tributes are quite moving.
The site has a page about events leading up to her death, and it broke our hearts to read it.
We strongly believe that we, and her many other online friends, provided her with the friendship and caring that she deserved.
As one of us remarked in a note left in the guestbook: "Her sweet and distinctive "voice" online will be missed by all who knew her."
I saved the tribute I wrote on a Memorial Page of the Cancer Support Group Carolyn was involved with, and our group made a donation in her honor.
Dear Carolyn, Just learned of your passing. God, how I missed your regular input, the past year, in our community! One of the greatest pleasures of my life was the day we spent together touring Chicago, when I visited there in 2001, just days before 9/11. Your advice, and encouragement, as my life changed over the last 6 years meant so much to me.
Carolyn had humor, and wisdom, and so much courage.
She was proud of her Irish heritage, and loved genealogy, and photography, and flowers.
Behind her sunny facade Susan was obviously suffering greatly.
It sounds as if she just gave up...
One friend battling to the end, the other slipping away by degrees, and no one the wiser.
So now there are 4 of us, 3 Conservatives, and a Liberal, and we continue experiencing the Journey of Life together.
In the Blogosphere I have gained many friends through linking, commenting, chat rooms, and e-mailing, and I'm sure that is true for all Bloggers to one degree, or another.
Many Bloggers have had the pleasure of meeting in person, and developing all sorts of relationships, both personal, and business, related, but there is another side to this world that, like the story I have just shared, touches our lives.
In fact, due to the nature of Blogging, it may even touch us more deeply.
Let me tell you about an Emigre With a Digital Cluebat....
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